Remains of the Day: The United States Sues Apple. NOTE! This is a satire! Don't hate me, bro! The United States Justice Department has sued Apple, claiming that it colluded with publishers to overcharge customers for ebooks. The antitrust action will likely end in a settlement, so that a Government shutdown can be averted. Since Apple has billions of surplus dollars, and the Government is 13 Trillion dollars in debt, litigation would likely have ended in a bankrupt U.S. Government, and Apple would likely have required laws banning Android phones and computers. Actually, now that I think about it, it might be a good idea to send some of these clowns home to their districts to explain what they have been doing in D.C.