The rumors are not true that the Vatican has acquired Palm and intends to lead the mobile movement to Jesus. However, it is true that the Pope will be texting a message of hope and the future to thousands of Sydney teens on World Youth Day in July. This photo is a mere presumption that he will use Palm Treos to do so.
Link: 'Wii Fit' for Mother's Day gift? You shouldn't have | Crave : The gadget blog. 
No, REALLY, you shouldn't have. I can just see the look I would get from She Who Must Be Obeyed if I followed the advice of some marketing execs, and got her the Wii Fit game for Mother's Day. After she drop-kicked me out the front door, the last words I would hear would be, "So, You Think I'm Fat?" NEVER buy your wife a fitness product, on ANY holiday. Thank goodness the game doesn't come out in the U.S. until a week after Mother's Day. At least I won't be tempted to self-destruct and buy one. These marketing guys must be delusional; or, they really aren't married; or, they are too young to be married; or, well, you get the picture.
I'm A Mac, dude. Well, I'm Bruce Willis, and I may not have any hair, but I have a really big Weapon...
Link: Quote Details: G. K. Chesterton: Journalism largely consists of... - The Quotations Page. G.K. Chesterton really said this: "Journalism largely consists of saying "Lord Jones Is Dead" to people who never knew Lord Jones was alive." And you were asking what blogging is?
This is a photo of the Asus tuned to the Cable broadcast of the game while I watch the game. There is a 6 second delay for the signal t0 get to my house and back to the stadium via my Slingbox. But now I have my own instant replay machine.
Okay. This is the real reason I bought the Asus Eee. I am scoring all the Rays games with Scorepad, and it is the perfect size to sit in my lap. Isn't tech wonderful? Go Rays. I can live blog from my seat.The Rays lock down their WiFi, so I connect wireessly with the Verizon Wireless Broadband using the EvDO network. Oh, joy. Oh, happy day.
I remember gas prices at 39 to 49 cents a gallon. How about you?
Link: Retromodo: Doggy Treadmill Idea is Actually From 1930. 
In 1930, long before the Dog Whisperer was born, dog training fell victim to an idea that equipment could solve any problem. Too lazy to take your dog for a walk? It isn't necessary to strain yourself. Just put the dog on a flywheel controlled contraption that fools the dog into thinking he is going somewhere. There is no indication that a doggy treat followed this exercise routine. However, the dog owner probably enjoyed his time sitting indolently on the porch or in the front yard. What has this to do with legal tech? Nothing, but I wouldn't want to disappoint those who think this blog is "eccentric".
Ooooh. Am I going to be in trouble for this!
Link: Cemetery full, mayor tells locals not to die - Yahoo! Canada News.
I don't know what part of this story is sadder; that a French bureaucrat thinks he can order his citizens where to die, or that he thinks he can punish dead people. I wonder if he would mind coming to the States and issuing a proclamation that anyone running for President will be "punished". I would like to see what he considers punishment. To the good citizens of the Mayor's town of Sarpourenx, France, I say Rest In Peace. Or Not.
Link: Science: iCub Baby Robot to Undergo Developmental Training, Still Isn't a Real Kid.
With a face only a mother could love, robotics is taking a step forward (???) with research in artificial intelligence for the iCub, a 3 foot high baby robot that will be taught to actually learn to speak. I always found the ability to learn to speak to be a disadvantage in my kids, as they can be really annoying. However, in the name of science, I wish these researchers well. Maybe they can do a better job of controlling these little guys. But, for Pete's sake, put some clothes on the poor kid.
Link: Researchers: Technology Addiction a Growing Problem : Christopher Null : Yahoo! Tech. 
Do you sleep with your cell phone under your pillow? If so, you might be a tech addict. Do you get up in the middle of the night to check your email? If so, you might be a tech addict. Do you carry your computer into the bathroom so you won't miss something in email or on the web? If so, you might be a tech addict. Do you post to your blog at all hours of the day and night? If so, you might be a tech addict. I refuse to admit that I am a tech addict. I am in denial. Deny, deny, deny. (No, I don't do any of the above...what I do shall remain a secret). Okay, I'll tell. I am a coffee addict. I need help.
Link: Angelina: I don't do computers | Metro.co.uk. 
Angelina Jolie "doesn't do computers". I know a lot of computer geeks who really don't care. She can still come over to our house or office, and we will be happy to teach her whatever she needs to know.
Wouldn't it be nice to have one of these in your next hearing? You could use it on opposing counsel AND the Judge...
Link: Relaxation of the future: Airport pods | Crave : The gadget blog. 
This idea looks crazy; and, it is. However, having spent some time trying to sleep on airport benches myself, I can see the possible utility of this idea. Of course, I would need to know that there would be no alien mind transfer involved, before I actually used one of these. Hey, wait a minute. How about adapting these for courtroom use? I have known some Judges and Jurors who could get a lot of use out of them.
Link: Happy Thoughts: Ejection Seat Office Chair is Just Gimmicky Enough to Distract You From Your Horrible Job.
I hate Mondays. Okay, we all hate Mondays. But, as I grow older, I hate them even more. My secretary and I have a running joke. If I call from home on Monday morning, she KNOWS I will be "working" at home that day. Well, this office chair will take care of the Monday blahs. It will put you through the roof. Whether you can make an orbit is up in the air, so to speak.
Link: 'Connect-A-Desk' is a workaholic's dream | Crave : The gadget blog.
And, in the category of get a life, we have the walk around desk. Do you need to compute while walking around the office? Can you navigate hallways while your eyes are glued to a computer screen? Are you incapable of finding a chair to sit in? Then, do I have a desk for you. It straps to your shoulders and allows you to type while simulaneously bumping into walls and doors. Just a hunch, but if you are so busy you have to type while walking, perhaps it is time for a vacation.
Link: authorPOINT's flash presentation. 
Don MacMillan is a comedian who is famous for his take on PowerPoint presentations. Most of them are very bad, and Don is very funny. Here is a short slide show introducing his unique brand of geek humor.
I hate New Year's Resolutions. They never last. So, none for me this year. I just want to live each day that I can spend all my spare time finding cool gadgets and software for you, dear reader. 
Link: Crapgadget: USB Santa boots, SMB mushroom lamps, awful PMPs, and more - Engadget. 
Endgadget's annual roundup of the most ridiculous gadgets has a winner. Hooking up a USB powered heater to a pair of boots in Santa fluff and color has to be the most mind-bendingly ridiculous gadget I have seen in a long time. And, I have been alive longer than all of you. First question, how long is the USB cable? What if I want to walk to the bathroom or the kitchen? Not to mention, get in the car and go to work. Oh, wait. I could hook them up to the USB port on my ultralight, and carry the computer under my arm. That way, my Santa Boots would warm me up for the length of my battery power. Wait, I live in Florida. I don't NEED boot warmers. Whew... I thought I was going to have to buy a pair of these.
In line with yesterday's post about the isolating effects of electronic communication, I offer this example of the wit of Stephan Pastis. Can we be more and less connected by technology at the same time?
Link: Wii Fit hits Japan today, America's still fat - Engadget.
Don't get me wrong; I love the Wii. Our family spends a lot of time together in the living room, laughing and playing the games. We golf, and bowl, and generally jump around the center of the room. Now, however, this fat American is rebelling. If I want to exercise, I will walk a block to the news stand. Actually exercising with the Wii? Please. I know, I know, it is good for me. However, playing video games with the family is supposed to be fun, isn't it? The good news? This thing won't be available in the U.S. til next year. Until then, anybody want to play Wii golf?
Link: Law.com - Novelty Song About Reindeer-Trod Grandmother Leads to Multimillion-Dollar Lawsuit. 
You all know the song, "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer". In fact, the mere mention of the title probably has you humming or singing it to yourself right now. Elmo Shropshire, who sang the song, claims to own the copyright, and is being sued for allegedly interfering in a deal to make novelty toys with the Grandma/Reindeer theme. Fellow lawyers...colleagues... I beg you. Please don't sue Santa Claus next. Our rep has taken enough of a beating this year.
I first wrote this post last year, and I am already in the Thanksgiving mood, so here it is again. Remember to buy those turkeys. Thanksgiving is on the 22d this year...
Link: The First Thanksgiving. 
Top Ten Reasons to be Thankful there weren't any lawyers on the Mayflower:
10. Conducting a trial on a small wooden ship would be difficult.
9.
The Seamen's Union would go on strike, and refuse to offload passengers
and freight until their lawyers conducted settlement negotiations.
8. It would have taken years to get zoning approval for the houses the Pilgrims wanted to live in.
7. Where would all of the secretaries and paralegals have slept?
6. Contract negotiations with the Indians would have delayed the food delivery by months.
5.
Litigation over the failure to pay a minimum wage to the food
preparation staff would have resulted in a strike, and nobody would get
to eat.
4. A lawsuit over the despoliation of the environment would have caused the crops to go unharvested.
3.
The Indians would have filed a lawsuit claiming that the Pilgrims were
trespassing on tribal land, and obtained an injunction.
2. The
Society for the Preservation of the Flowers of May would have
prevented the docking of the ship, for tradename infringement.
And, drum-stick roll , please, the Number One reason to be thankful there were no lawyers on the MayFlower:
1. The Pilgrims and the Indians would have flooded the colonial courts with litigation for negligent food preparation when they all got sick from eating wild turkeys.
Enjoy your Feast. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank You, God, for making a world with work for lawyers.
We have all pondered the question, haven't we? I know I have. What one thing common to modern civilization would you want to have if you were stranded on a desert island? Of course, for the FutureLawyer, the answer has to be the Treo. Of, course, a power connection to keep it charged might be problematic. And, a cell tower in the vicinity might be difficult to find. But, we all dream, and that would be my choice, if I could solve the technical problems. This guy is obviously a like-minded soul. Except that his Treo works on the island.
Link: Exercise: Treadmill Desk Promotes Hamster-itis.
I cannot even conceive of a legitimate purpose for this torture implement; also known as the WalkStation Treadmill Desk. I spend a lot of time sitting in front of a computer screen pursuing a stressful law practice. However, if I feel the need for some exercise, I am perfectly capable of getting up out of my chair and walking all the way to the refrigerator, thank you very much.
Link: Toshiba Shocker: That Crazy Game Helmet Is For Real - Kotaku. 
Okay, it is Saturday, and we should all be relaxing and chilling out. Hey, how about a movie or a video game? Toshiba claims this immersive 3D headgear can be worn comfortably. I am more worried about walking into my son's room and having a heart attack, thinking my home has been invaded by aliens. What about the rest of us, Toshiba?
Link: Chuck Newton: Do You Love Your Computer A Little Too Much?.
Chuck Newton thinks I might be blogging from my coffin, after I am dead. Actually, I will be, but I will have written the blog posts prior to dying, and used my tech knowledge to schedule them for publication after I have shuffled off this mortal coil. In truth, I have had a woman accuse me, in the past, of loving computers more than her. However, She Who Must Be Obeyed comes first, and that is probably why we have stayed married for so long. She knows that the computer takes a back seat. Of course, I can do both at the same time.
Link: Chuck Newton: NIL ILLEGITIMUS CARBORUNDUM.
Chuck Newton has, in his own inimitable way, greatly expanded the scope of my little "learn how to say no to clients" post. This is one of those immutable rules of life that are "more honored in the breach than in the observance". However, all of the Latin phrases that Chuck mentions could be distilled down to one overarching rule, that transcends it all. It is the simple answer to a good life, and Chuck obviously gets it:
"Carpe Diem"
So, go out there, seize the day, and live.
Note:
A reader says this may not be genuine and is a hoax. However, it is still funny,and it does describe a mind-set that is bureaucracy at its finest.
One of my clients, an Animal Protection organization, sent me this colloquy between a bureaucrat and a landowner. It highlights some of the problems with over-regulation and bureaucracy. Every lawyer will identify with the problems of dealing with the mind-set of this bureaucrat, and we deal with people like this every day. I LOVE the response of the land-owner, and I present it in its unvarnished glory:
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a
pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of
Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania. This guy's response is
hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response
letter.
SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above
referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal
landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized
activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. 
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A
review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been
issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is
in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural
Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts
of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania
Compiled Laws, annotated.
Continue reading "Dam Beavers, Dam fools, and Dam Bureaucrats" »
Link: Table For Bedroom Security - Geekologie. 
If you buy this product, you either need to change neighborhoods, or go see a marriage counselor. Is it just me, or is this like having a loaded gun in your bedroom? Seems to me that it is more likely that She Who Must Be Obeyed might get more use out of this table than I would. Of course, if you put a lamp on top of it, you might get enough of a head start to get out the door and down the stairs before she got a hold of it.
Link: Excite - Sports News.
The last place Texas Rangers scored 30 runs in yesterday's game to defeat the Orioles in the first game of a double-header, 30 to 3. They got 29 hits. In one game. The 30 runs were a Major League record. Since I root for the lowly, last place Devil Rays, I suggest a Major League rules change. We should handicap games. Texas should be able to sell all the runs they didn't need yesterday (26 by my count) to the Devil Rays, to be used as needed everytime the Rays have to play the Yankees or the Red Sox. This rule should apply every time a team loses by more than ten runs, or is in last place at the start of the game. There. You want parity? Here's a beginning.
Link: Washington Redskins.
Well, my flight to D.C. for the Redskins game is off to a great start. My flight was cancelled because a bird smashed the windshield. At 17,000 feet. I know, my wife didn't believe me either. But, the fact remains that I am killing time in Tampa International blogging about bird airplane collisions. Oh well. TIA is the prettiest airport on the planet, and they have installed free WiFi, so being here isn't much different than being at my desk at home. Hail to the Redskins.
Link: Chuck Newton: Hell Yes I Am Happy!. 
Chuck Newton thinks he is happier than the FutureLawyer because he lives in Texas. How anyone who lives in Texas can be happier than someone who lives in Florida is beyond me. But, then, that is the problem with studies. They lie. So do statistics. Happiness is a state of mind. It is also greatly dependent upon the alacrity with which She Who Must Be Obeyed dispenses tasks to be performed on a beautiful Florida Saturday.
Link: Home Sweet Home: Man Mods Concrete Pipe into a House - Gizmodo.
Okay, early in my legal career, I prevented the demolition of a concrete dome house, by arguing that the architectural control language in the subdivision documents was not specific enough. This guy, however, has created a home out of a concrete pipe. Would you want to live next door? Well, if he shared his WiFi, maybe.
Link: Killers from Space | Videos | SCI FI Drive-In. 
I have a confession to make. I have a guilty pleasure. Old Science Fiction movies, in black and white, and some old horror movies; Lon Chaney, et. al. I grew up in the Fifties and Sixties, and we didn't have video games, or color TV. We spent our Saturday mornings at the local movie theater watching black and white Sci Fi and horror movies. SciFi.Com has those old movies online, and you can lose an hour watching. Who could pass up "Killers From Space"? I was 8 years old when I saw this movie, and I had nightmares for months from the eyes on these aliens. Hard to believe we were so naive.
As readers of Stephan Pastis' comic strip know, Rat has left the environs of tabloid news, and has become a lawyer. Normally, I don't like lawyer jokes; but, Pastis, as a former lawyer, has paid the dues to do it. I hope that most of us aren't like Rat. 
Link: Cellphone lights enable operation to proceed in blackout - Engadget. 
Okay, this might not have been funny to the patient on the operating table, but Doctors in Argentina might have found a good use for IPhones. When the hospital lights went out, everybody gathered up their cell phones, and used the glowing LCD light to continue the operation. No word on whether one of them got dropped into the patient. I once lost a Treo to a toilet bowl when it fell out of my pocket while I was leaning over to flush. Yeah, Yeah, too much information.
Maybe the IPhone fanboys think that their new IPhone will do this?
When I saw this cartoon, I thought of all the people paying big money for Vista.
Link: Georgia Tech researchers develop gesture-recognizing watch - Engadget.
Would you wear a watch that you could control with a gesture? I almost want to buy this thing, just to see what it would do if I gave it the finger. Would it talk back? Would it burn my wrist in anger? They lost me at potentially allowing Doctors to use it to control gadgets in an operation. Somehow, the last thing I want to see as I fade away from the anaesthesia is a Doctor giving me the finger.
Link: Miffed cell suscriber goes on tower-destroying rampage in APC - Engadget Mobile. 
I have heard of road rage, but this is ridiculous. An angry cell-phone subscriber in Australia destroyed 6 cell phone towers with an Armored Personnel Carrier (APC). Where he got the equipment, who knows? But, I imagine that his lawyer will have a hard time convincing the Court that his cell phone made him do it.
Link: Mingle2 - What's My Blog Rated? Find Out Your Film Rating. 
I am happy to report that the FutureLawyer blog is suitable for your children to read; and your aunts and uncles, even the ones who don't ever leave the house. I am not too certain about the dogs and cats, but suspect they don't care.
Link: MAKE: Blog: Bicycle rack from old skis and ski poles.
When I saw this photo of some people who made a bike rack out of old ski poles, my first reaction was to laugh; who skis? Then, I realized that I shouldn't make fun of people who spend half of their life trudging though snow, and sludge, and freezing their booties off. So, all of you former skiers who don't live in Florida, send me your old ski poles, and I will create a cottage industry down here in between my sunbathing, and nap time.
Okay, so I like to blog. I enjoy finding cool gadgets, and discussing tech issues as they relate to the practice of law. I do it every day, sometimes twice a day. Oh, okay, sometimes, I sneak some blogging in when I should be working. Does that make me an addict? All bloggers are familiar with the cryptic emails from their service providers when a reader unsubscribes from the blog. Readers are generally asked the reason they are unsubscribing, which is usually "Declines to Give a Reason". Thank goodness the reasons don't include "This dork is really boring." But, recently, I have had the reason given as "Too many updates". Huh? I guess I must be blogging too much, or is my former reader trying to tell me that a little FutureLawyer is palatable, but too much is too much? Okay, okay. I am a blogger. I will try to stop. But, if I can't, please don't institutionalize me. I would be compelled to blog about conditions at the hospital. Now, please pour me another cup of coffee. I really, really need it.
