I struggle to form a picture
of a restaurant
You are seated at a table
across from other men
Do you make the same small talk
you make with me?
I wonder if you spill your wine
you toss your hair
while you nail them to the cross
of male ego
Do they cringe at your courage?
Do you look at them with the looks
you have given me?
I fight the urge
to ask myself the hard questions,
what if they get a higher grade
on the test than I?
What if they are prettier
What if you will love them
and not me?
Do you hold their hand
with gentle fingers
and touch their knee
with the knee that touched me?
In my mind's eye
the landscape is filled with other men
grasping and groping
the one I love
Their lights are brighter than mine
Their souls are purer than mine
Can they change water into wine?