I watched you smile the first time.
I watched you move in and out of the car.
I listened as you spoke kind words,
and I watched what you did when I looked at you.
I heard you speak the words of love,
even though I wasn’t listening.
I pretended that you weren’t real,
because I couldn’t believe that you were.
I acted impulsively when I was near you,
but not as quickly as I wanted.
I learned to watch and listen,
even when you thought I was being ridiculous.
I watched as you moved gracefully through life,
while I struggled to cope.
I was jealous of the attention you gave,
to everything and everyone else.
I was selfish and you were generous.
I never believed that you would leave me.
When you did,
I watched with anguish
and didn’t understand.
I watched you die,
and was amazed at your calm.
I cried when I kissed you the last time.
I wished I had done it more often.
I would like to believe that you are now watching me,
as I live a life that will certainly end someday.
I have found happiness again.
I don’t know whether your consciousness
lives in another realm.
If it does, I hope that you approve,
even though we can never know
what lays on the other side of midnight.
When I wake up in the early morning light,
I watch as the sun comes up.
I watch my lover sleeping.
She watches me back,
and I watch over her.
We have both watched other lovers speaking,
and moving,
and loving,
and dying.
We have days ahead
to watch and learn and love again.
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