Futurelawyer

The Twilight Children.

He watched the children playing in the street.
They wore Christmas sweaters
and reindeer headgear.
It was chilly in December,
and the day was ending.
Soon, the street would come alive
with Christmas lights,
and a parade of cars on the street
would pass by.
He faced another winter,
perhaps his last,
with an increasing excitement.
In his youth,
Christmas caused sleepless nights,
and anticipation,
and wonder and joy.
For a long time,
Christmas had become
just another holiday,
to remember past loss,
and past failure,
and a time for greedy people
and greedy salespeople.
He faced this twilight, however
with a renewed focus.
Something about the approaching winter
brought back the excitement of his youth.
The long stretch of years
was bending around on itself,
and twilight became the harbinger
of death and renewal.
He didn’t have many more Christmases
to be excited.
He knew that this twilight
was for the little boy
he once was.
He was, once again,
one of the twilight children,
and he meant to look forward
to the coming dawn.

Sea Turtle - SeaWorld Aquarium

Beautiful sea creature.

Why I Don't Do Xmas Decorations.

I let Diane do it. If she wants to spend her life with artificial winter environments, more power to her. I am happy to sit and watch. 

Photograph.

Once a year, I publish this poem. It has become an anthem to my aging, and I first published it ten years ago. I was struck then, as I am now, by the aging process. It is amazing how the body changes over the years; but, the mind doesn't change. We are all 25 years old in our heads; which is why you cannot trust what you see. Never judge another by appearances. You have no idea what is happening behind the eyes. 

He looked at the photograph closely,

image of his youth.

The image was filled with promise, and

overflowing with optimism.

In two dimensions,

the photograph reminded him

of another self,

free to hope,

free to wonder,

free to grasp, and

looking for the future.

He remembered the photographer,

prodding,

annoying,

motioning, and

jostling with the hangers on

and the wannabes.

He was sharing his soul,

whether he wanted to or not.

He took a picture in his mind,

moved to another decade,

and wondered whether the wisdom of age

would be enough

to bring the photograph back to life.

Did it look back at him

and laugh?

You Live In Your Keyboard. Don't Be A Wimp. Get A Razer.

Razer Black Widow Ultimate. Long, long ago, computer keyboards were large beasts, with mechanical keys and deep travel, and they made a satisfying click when the keys were pressed. They were loud, obnoxious, and a touch typists dream. Then, over time, weaselly little keyboards came into fashion, driven by the need to maximize space in portable notebook computers. We accomplished touch typists, joined by a burgeoning army of teens playing video games, demanded that a modern keyboard be developed that focused on the speed and accuracy of mechanical keyboards. In 2016, I purchased a Razer Black Widow Ultimate, and have used it ever since. It is, hands down, the best keyboard made, and I joined it with a Razer Death Adder mouse. They are USB wired devices (no wimpy bluetooth connection required), and I love them. However, the other day, I spilled a glass of water, and the keyboard stopped working. I was going to throw it out, and purchase another Razer keyboard; but, in a flash of insight, decided to see if it could be saved. Diane's hairdryer, I thought, might dry out the keyboard, and I crossed my fingers while blowing hot air over the board. Amazingly, after a couple of minutes, the keyboard sprang to life, and I was back typing at a speed that once beat every person in my typing class in high school. I was so motivated that I did a deep clean of the board, and it now looks and works like new. You live in your keyboard. Get a Razer.

There Goes The Diet. FutureLawyer Will Be Eating A Lot More Spaghetti.

Over the years, I have managed to combine old age, a Dad bod, and Italian American heritage into a walking ad for the before pictures in diet ads. But, I am still alive at 75; so, there's that. I have had a life long love of Spaghetti with Meat Sauce, bred from my Italian American mom's classic recipe; but, the recipe was lost when she died, and I have never been able to duplicate it. So, when, after years of searching, my sister emailed me, saying she had found a typewritten recipe among my mother's papers, I was elated. Diane made some the other night, and I have been in heaven ever since. It will now be impossible to stay on a diet. Oh well. I will leave the earth with the taste of classic Italian meat sauce in my mouth. 

Proof That Fate Always Follows Grief With Happiness Sooner Or Later.

I have found happiness again with Diane, and we are grasping every minute of every day, clinging to life and finding joy wherever we can. But, every year around this time, we both think of our deceased former spouses with a bit of sadness, and a lot of remembering. So much can happen in a moment. So much can change in an instant. Social media has created a timeline for those of us who use it, and the memories dredged up always remind me of the fragility of our lives. I wrote this poem five years ago, and the memory is still fresh. But, as time passes, the joy I feel every day with Diane counters the sadness, and I marvel at the brain's power to recognize the wastefulness of not finding joy in every moment. I have found a new "best person I ever knew".  If you are still grieving, ask yourself whether you can't find that joy. I hope you do. Because life is not something to waste.

OBITUARY

I wrote your obituary today.

I told the truth;

but not the whole truth.

I wrote the truth that we all tell each other

and others,

and post on Facebook walls,

and in Newspapers.

I didn’t write the truth we keep in our hearts.

I didn’t write about the battles we fought, together

and alone.

I didn’t write about the secrets we kept from others,

and from ourselves.

I didn’t write about the truths we humans

don’t want others to know.

I wrote about your accomplishments.

I wrote about the love others had for you.

I wrote about the public face

we all show the world.

But, I didn’t write about your incandescent eyes.

I didn’t write about your caring soul.

I didn’t write about the wry tilt of your head,

when I was being ridiculous.

I didn’t write about the words we spoke

in the night.

I didn’t write the truths we admitted to each other

in the early morning light.

I didn’t write about our sins, our faults, or our failings.

I didn’t write about the daily struggles we faced,

in a world consumed by desire and evil.

I wanted to write about the heartache of a string of days without you.

I wanted to express the pain of loss.

I wanted to tell the world that you were the best person I ever knew.

 

I only told them what they wanted to hear.

 

#WhyIAmASolo - I Will Never Be Unemployed.

Brian H. Potts Book. Law graduates who don't find a job right away can get some tips from this book. The author says: "Here’s the truth: the vast majority of recent graduates who pass the bar and want to work end up employed. If you read my book while sober, and actually plan to do some of the things I recommend, it’s highly likely you’ll land a legal job of some sort within 6 to 12 months of being sworn in as a lawyer of the bar. How else do you think I can guarantee that you’ll get a job after reading my book, or I’ll give you your money back? It’s a numbers game." However, I still think it is possible to do what I and a friend did right out of law school in 1973. Hang a shingle and go. 50 years later, I am still doing it. I don't have, and haven't made, a lot of money. But, I often feel like I have never worked a day in my life. I get scared about a lot of things; but, I have never been scared of being unemployed.

#WhyIAmASolo - I Don't Need To Ask Permission To Use The Conference Room.

And, I don't get insulted by secretaries on a power trip. 

#WhyIAmASolo - I Have To Do Everything Myself.

In my law practice, if something needs to be done, I have to do it. I don't have minions and secretaries and clerks and junior associates to give assignments to. And, if the assignment carries a critical deadline, I don't have to worry about someone botching it, and costing me a lot of money. As a side benefit, if I want a bonus, and the money is there, I can give it to myself.