Futurelawyer

Guess Who's Coming To Dinner?

If today is Thursday, it must be bring a friend home for dinner day.

 

If You Have Parrots, Always Let The Neighbors Know.

This guy's neighbors swatted him when they heard screaming and calls for help coming from inside his house.

 

#TBT - LawComix - Lawyering Is Serious Business...But Laughter Makes It, And Life, Tolerable.

LawComix Home Page. My dear friend, and one of my favorite people on the planet, Charlie Fincher, quotes me on his home page: "Charles Fincher is the most talented lawyer cartoonist living". I have displayed his genius on my page often, and I have an original ink drawing of his hanging on the office wall. But, more than all that, he agrees with me that laughter and smiling at human foibles and trouble are the best survival tool we have. If you aren't laughing at the folly of the human condition, there is something wrong with you. I have followed the theme in some of my poetry, in which I have pointed out (See "A Serious Man", and others) the hypocrisy and cluelessness of our too serious, virtue signalling, materialistic, society. Charlie has made my life better, every time he makes me smile. He will do the same for you. Check out his stuff at his home page. 

Best Baseball WalkUp Song Ever... No Contest.

Wild Thing is my entry. Anybody think they can beat it?

 

Warning! This Is A Joke! It Is Not A Jab At Church Or Religion!

When I posted this Church sign two years ago, and opined that I wouldn't want to go to this Church, I wasn't clear that it was a joke. So, some of my readers took offense. So, this time, I am saying it up front. In fact, this time it occurred to me that that the model for the Mass, the Last Supper, would violate several of this Church's prohibitions. No eating? They were at dinner. No talking? They were conversing with each other. Cameras and cell phones hadn't been invented, but try to go to a restaurant or Church these days and not see cell phones on every table or in every hand. :-) In fact, I have, on occasion, followed Mass on an Android app, and caught some flack from some who didn't know I was no different that those with prayer books. And, there are apps that assist in prayer. Perhaps Mass and other religious services might benefit from a little fun, no? When did worship of God become so serious? Shouldn't it be joyful? Laugh a little. You'll live longer.

Stop It! Mike's Dead. He Won't Feel A Thing.

You Can Learn How To Do Anything On The Internet.

Lesson One: the proper use of commas and the Oxford comma. Punctuation lessons and a warning from the Grammar Police. Be thankful you aren't in Great Britain.

#TBT Sometimes, Lawyers Get Caught Up In Irrelevancies.

This is an actual transcript of testimony in a case where a lawyer is cros-examining a Medical Examiner. A cautionary tale.

Lawyers Say The Darndest Things.

As a capper on the Holiday weekend, I give you this colloquy between an attorney (or someone masquerading as an attorney) and a Medical Examiner concerning an autopsy that the Doctor has performed. I am not making this stuff up:

"ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No..

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law."

Do You Know This Man?

Apparently, AI isn't all seeing and all knowing. We have all received bulk emails from LinkedIn suggesting people we might want to connect with, haven't we? Connections are what LinkedIn is all about, after all. So, I got a chuckle this morning when I got this email from LinkedIn, suggesting I might want to connect with this fellow named Richard Georges. I admit that self knowledge is a skill learned over many years, and I have spent 76 years getting to know myself. I have always followed Polonius' advice to his son, Laertes: "This above all, to thine own self be true". Know yourself, and you cannot then be false to any man, right? Oh well. I guess I will connect with myself today. At least, I know that I won't reject me.

Beware The Thesaurus...The Most Loquacious, Verbose, Garroulous, Talkative, Expansive, Babbling And Jabbering Of The Dinosaurs.