Futurelawyer

Ten Years Later, I Still Have My Hair.

Pinot has been grooming me for over ten years. I maintain that it is the reason I still have my hair. I recommend Cockatoo Hair Care for everyone.

Are You Completely Incapable Of Putting The Dirty Laundry In The Hamper?

What are the things your spouse yells at you about? 

"Obesity" Is Now A Racist Term.

Woke Professors Claim Obesity Is A Racist Term. I feel so much better. Age and genetics and a lack of exercise have combined to make me fat. Yes, I admit it. Of course, intelligence isn't determined by physical traits, and being obese or fat doesn't change if I am now called a "person in a larger body". But, adopting woke ideology, why can't I now "identify" as a thin person? If we can now choose what our body looks like, why can't we force others to see us as we see ourselves? I think my new "thin" persona likes the new speakthink. Hi. My name is Rick, and I am a thin person inside a larger body. 

Quick, Somebody Call My Cardiologist.

I may have blundered upon the cause of my medical issues. It is the way I was raised. My family is the cause of all my issues. Quick, somebody call my cardiologist.

 

Bedtime Stories For Lawyers' Kids.

Hey, if they need protection from nightmares, they may as well earn their keep.

What's In A Name?

That which we call a rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet. The name is "The Futurelawyer", thank you very much.

Never Put A Parrot Cage Next To An Amazon Echo Device.

Echo devices are powerful ways to use voice to control our environment. One of the most powerful is the ability to create shopping lists, and to order products online that we use every day. "Alexa", "More toilet paper, please". Parrots, being great mimics, tend to copy what we say, and this African Grey should never be allowed in a room with an Echo device.

 

Who Else Needs To See This?

Someone I know needs to see this?

When Did I Lose That Hubcap?

Many of us have had the experience of noticing a missing hubcap on our cars. It is a mystery where they go, isn't it? However, I believe we may have found an answer to the age old question.

Hubcap Thieves.

#TBT - Where Is George Carlin When We Need Him?

Current events in the last few years cry out for Carlin. The mass retirements, the violence in protests, the polarization of America, the cancellation of unpopular opinions, the lack of work ethic, and I could go on for a while. Where do these people find the time to spend overseeing the behavior, language and lives of other people? Something Carlin once said that stuck with me seems to touch on this issue. I am on the team that goes to work and lives my life and doesn't get judgmental about others. 

"Some people see things that are and ask, ‘Why?’ Some people dream of things that never were and ask, ‘Why not?’ Some people have to go to work and don’t have time for all that."

                                                                                                                                                                               George Carlin