Futurelawyer

Sometimes You Eat The Bear, And Sometimes The Bear Eats You

A Stoic truth for this Saturday. Love your fate.

You Get To Choose Your Google Assistant

You can finally switch the Google Assistant voice to John Legend, here's how to do it. Many of us are spending a lot more time talking to our smartphones. I never thought I would be asking Google Assistant for so many answers, or to perform so many tasks. But, as I become more depending on Assistant, the need for some variety has prompted me to check out all the different voices to assign to my best friend. Now, Google is starting to provide celebrity voices for some tasks, and John Legend is the first. Sorry, John, but my faves are female, and have a U.K. accent. There is something very sexy about a British female voice, especially when she answers every question I ask her.

And Now For Something Completely Different

What would happen if Monty Python wrote an episode of StarTrek?

#WhyIAmASolo - I Don't Have To Have Performance Reviews

Execupundit points, this morning, to an episode of the Office, from the U.K., which illustrates why performance reviews are worthless, and why large organizations (are you listening, BigLaw?) should take a hard look at some of the bureaucratic nightmares in which some of their employees live. 

#WhyIAmASolo - I'll Never Have To Give Two Weeks Notice

These Resignation Letters Say 'I Quit' In Hilarious Ways | NinjaJournalist. While some of these two week notices are pretty funny, it is never funny to find yourself in a job you hate, or dealing with bad people managers, or having someone else tell you how things will run. If I ever decide to quit (not likely, but possible), I will take my key from Paul Simon, and think up fifty ways to leave. Just hit the road, Jack. No need to be coy, Roy. Just get yourself free.

The World Is Finally Safe From The FutureLawyer

Okay, I am embellishing a bit. But, one of my many jobs in my youth was working in a warehouse moving stuff around. It wasn't my proudest moment when I dropped a pallet full of sacks of sugar onto the warehouse floor on one of the most humid days of the year. Unless you have spend a few hours with a shovel and moist sugar, you haven't lived my life. I still can feel the sticky mess. But, fear not. Our new robot overlords can stack boxes and other stuff in warehouses with ease. I hope they do it with better accuracy than autonomous cars. 

I Must Be A Brave Man.

I am probably risking my life posting this; but, I couldn't resist.

Be The Black Knight

Life got you down? Did you lose that last hearing? Big trial coming up and doubt creeping in? Never surrender to fear. Always remember, no matter what life throws at you, "Tis but a scratch!".

 

There's One Born Every Minute

While we're at it, sir, would you like to buy some carbon credits to prove that you care about the planet, and are sorry for driving a gas guzzling car? Or, better yet, Mr. Lawyer, would you like to buy a plaque that announces you as one of the best lawyers in the world? 

Diane Hits A Gift Home Run

That's What I Do I Smoke Cigars And Know Things T-Shirt | TeeShirtPalace. Diane gets me. This is her latest gift. I will wear it with pride.