Some things in life are harder than others. The Stoics believed that recognizing the inevitability of death every day would give impetus to living life to the fullest. Writing obituaries for loved ones is a distasteful but necessary task. When I wrote one for Jacquelyn a few years ago, I was struck by the contradictions in our attitudes towards life and death. We fear death and cling to life. Facing fear is the definition of courage. However, we engage in all sorts of deceptions to soften the blow, don't we?
Obituary.
I wrote your obituary today.
I told the truth
But not the whole truth.
I wrote the truth that we all tell each other
and others
and post on Facebook walls
and in Newspapers
I didn’t write the truth we keep in our hearts.
I didn’t write about the battles we fought together
and alone.
I didn’t write about the secrets we kept from others
and from ourselves.
I didn’t write about the truths we humans
don’t want others to know.
I wrote about your accomplishments
I wrote about the love others had for you
I wrote about the public face
we all show the world.
But, I didn’t write about your incandescent eyes
I didn’t write about your caring soul
I didn’t write about the wry tilt of your head
When I was being ridiculous.
I didn’t write about the words we spoke
in the night.
I didn’t write the truths we admitted to each other
in the early morning light.
I didn’t write about our sins, our faults, or our failings.
I didn’t write about the daily struggles we faced
in a world consumed by desire and evil.
I wanted to write about the heartache of a string of days without you.
I wanted to express the pain of loss
I wanted to tell the world that you were the best person I ever knew.
I only told them what they wanted to hear.
