Futurelawyer

You Could Be A Stoic If...

Embrace the suck. This phrase is a staple in the Army, and is an outgrowth of Stoic philosophy. Nietzsche adopted it in his famous "Love your fate" phrase. Accept the good and the bad and concentrate on the present. You'll be glad you did. If you want a plain spoken, common sense approach to living your best life, check out my book, "Stoicism - Philosophy For The Rest Of Us".

How Will You Live The Life You Have Left?

I am a believer in humor. If you aren't laughing, you aren't living. Make sure, however, that your "joy" isn't a politician's fake pandering to an audience. The only bigger waste than a life without happiness and joy, is a life filled with fake smiles. 

He was a stern taskmaster.

He demanded perfection,

and he punished failure.

He assigned the jobs

to be performed,

and monitored their progress

with a focused attention to detail.

No laziness was tolerated,

and the days were long

and stressful for those under his control.

He never smiled,

as that would be a sign of weakness,

and he could never be seen to be weak.

He was strong

and firm,

and those who obeyed him

were not allowed to waver

from the collective goal.

He counted pens,

and paper,

and spent hours poring over

journals and entries,

and reports

about arcane subject matter.

Those who challenged him

weren’t around very long.

He didn't give second chances.

Others only received one opportunity

to meet his high standards.

Some of those around him

wondered what he did

when they weren’t around

to follow meekly

his demands.

What did he do

when he wasn’t ordering them about

and checking their work?

Did he have love in his life?

Did he laugh?

Did he ever get sick?

Who commanded him?

When he died,

everyone pretended to grieve.

They said the right words,

and the priest congratulated him

on a life of accomplishment.

The plaques, celebrating sales goals

and other successes,

are gathering dust in the warehouse

where accomplishments go when their owners die.

Maybe he will get a second chance,

in the life beyond midnight.

Maybe there is a place where he is allowed

to smile,

and be happy.

Perhaps there is a heaven for him.

Rudyard Kipling Was A Stoic.

The famous 19th century poem, "If", by Kipling, is powerful. Since we are heading into football season, this reading by John Facenda, of NFL Films is a great version, and carries one of my favorite lines: "If you can meet with triumph and disaster, and treat those two impostors just the same". One of the bedrock Stoic principles is to expect disaster, and treat it the same as success. Never expect success to continue, and prepare for the worst. Concentrate on being your best no matter what happens. It is the choices we make in the present that count. It is our reaction to these varied events that we control, and nothing else. In its imitation of reality, football embodies conflict and resolution, success and failure, and what a famous broadcaster used to call "the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat". But, the key is to control our reaction to these twin results, and not to wallow in defeat, or become sanguine about victory. If you can control these impulses, "you'll be a man, my son".

 

#PoetryFriday - A Famous Man.

He used to give tours of the house,

guiding his guests

along the hallways

and into the rooms

filled with trophies and awards.

The ribbons, and medals were neatly arranged

in shadow boxes

made from wood and metal

that shone in the morning light

coming through the windows.

In the halls were photographs

of his conquests

and his ceremonies.

They were filled with more trophies

and awards,

testimonies to his career

and his past glory.

He loved bragging about his past

while he spent his present

reminding everyone of what he had been.

These days,

others give the tours;

but, they do it in a graveyard,

telling all who will listen,

about the great man buried here

who once was famous

and great

and who collected medals and trophies.

The medals and trophies

are sitting in dusty boxes

in pawn shops and the bedrooms of his fans

who live their lives in his shadow

and measure their happiness

by his accomplishments. 

I Am Dead. Now, I Will Go Out And Live.

Stoics get accused of having an unhealthy interest in death. But, the reasoning is sound. If you remind yourself every day that life is fleeting, and you will die, it focuses your effort on living while you can. This meme is one of my favorites. In addition to telling myself to remember each day that I will die (Memento Mori), I try to consider Marcus Aurelius' statement about it. Consider yourself dead already. You have lived your life. You are dead. Now, get out there and live.

Every Day Is Another Day To Live.

Are you alive this morning? Be grateful. There are many who have preceded us in death. We hope they are in a good place. Believers put them in heaven. Non believers put them in another plane of existence. But, the truth is that, as humans, nobody knows what is on the other side of midnight. Be grateful you are still here, no matter your circumstances. I remember, being prepped for heart surgery nine years ago. I was wheeled into one more dark room with a huge machine. Outside the room, waiting, was a little girl, no more than 8 or 10 years old, with an obvious debilitating disease that caused her body to be contorted. She was smiling. I wasn't. At that moment, I realized that she was more alive than I was. Be grateful. Live right now. Think about something positive. Do something positive today. Every day should be Thanksgiving Day.

Never Give Up. Never Surrender.

Sometimes, in every life, we fail. We make mistakes. Fate deals us a blow. Stoicism has helped me deal with these inevitabilities by reminding me that I have no control over others, or external events, or even the vagaries of fate. I try to follow the prescription to expect the unexpected, and to realize that ups and downs are part of every human life. But, it is tough. Epictetus, one of my favorite Stoics, also prescribed the advice in this meme. Good advice. No matter how bad it gets. No matter what mistakes or misjudgments you make, never give up. So, until they bury this old man in the ground, I will keep on going. That's my plan, and I am sticking to it.

Stoicism And Dealing With Stress.

I love this meme. It it a great prescription. Lawyers deal with stress as a feature of their employment. All of us deal with stress as members of society, and current events. While difficult, I try to follow each of the seven prescriptions.

1. I try only to worry about stuff within my control, and that lives primarily between my ears.
2. I try to remember that bad things happen, and to be prepared for them when they do. This is the toughest for me, as I tend to let my guard down when things are going well. Then, I get blindsided by the bad stuff. At that point, I try to find joy, no matter what.
3. I blog in the morning. It helps expiate my demons, and get out what festers inside me. 
4. I don't do evening reflection as much as I should. I tend to go until I can't stay awake anymore, and sometimes I let the sleep anxiety monsters out. But, I am trying to do better.
5. I have many hobbies: tech, RVing, sports, etc. That helps a lot in troubled times.
6. A sense of humor is one of the best strategies for living well. I don't trust anyone who never smiles or laughs. My poem, A Serious Man, deals with this theme. Laugh all the time. It will help.
7. Acknowledging mortality is a great perspective for living. I have Memento Mori imprinted on my car, on my rings, and I try to acknowledge the inevitability of death every single day. It is amazing how little our problems seem in the context of being dead sooner rather than later.

Everyone And Everything Dies. Get Over It.

Lapham's Quarterly - Memento Mori. Good friend, Julian Summerhayes, poet and philosopher, referred me to this Lapham article on death and dying. It discusses our peculiar habit of spending much of our lives trying to avoid death, with technology and science, and self delusion. Huge institutions in society make money off of our denial of the inevitable, and the fact that most thinking philosophers have shown that our efforts often prevent us from living a virtuous, good life. As you probably know, the theme of death and dying and inevitability runs through my poetry, and Memento Mori is my clarion call to concentrate on living happily in the present, however long, or short, that may be. When I resigned myself to death's certainty, I found that each day tastes better, and that I am happier living however long I get. Read this article, and you might just get it.

After Experiencing Stressful Events, What Is The Prescription?

All of us experience stress. Usually, it comes as a result of events over which we have no control. I was drawn, early on, to the Stoic Philosophy as a result of research into the causes and remedies for anxiety and stress. Worry about what might happen, or has happened, can make living happily impossible. I wrote a book about the simple wisdom of Stoic philosophy as a result of years of musing about how practical it is. It is not a philosophy that requires scholars and long books and robes and chants. But, as simple as it is, it can be difficult to practice. So, after a bad day, I try to remember, and focus on, the simple wisdom:

Marcus Aurelius:

• Focus on the Present:

  • "Confine yourself to the present."
  • Marcus Aurelius encouraged a strong focus on the present moment, suggesting that we should not let our minds drift into future anxieties or past regrets. By living in the now, we can fully experience and appreciate the current moment.

• Accept What You Cannot Control:

  • "You have power over your mind—not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength."
  • He advised recognizing what is within our control (our thoughts and actions) and what is not (external events). By accepting that we cannot control everything, we can reduce unnecessary stress and focus on what we can influence.

• Understand the Nature of Worry:

  • "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
  • Marcus highlighted that worry often stems from our perception of events rather than the events themselves. Changing our perspective can help diminish worry.