Futurelawyer

So Little Life...So Little Time...Don't Waste It.

We spend so much time in our lives trying to join groups that are in the majority. We join political parties in order to win more votes in order to gain power over other humans. We root for sports teams and aspire to sit in stadiums with crowds holding more of our fans than the other guy. We adjust our behaviors in order to live our lives the way others want us to live, be they parents, or siblings, or lovers, or spouses, or colleagues, or other groups with which we identify. What if we followed our own light, without any conscious or subconscious need for the approval of others? What if we were our genuine selves, without regard to the opinion of anyone else? We might find that we are much less likely to join the ranks of the insane. 

We Are All Freds. Stop Worrying About Covid-19.

Seriously? Are you worried about dying? Are you hiding in your house, afraid to get out and live your life? Are you zealously reading Covid-19 statistics in the newspaper and on the Internet? Are you spending all your time wondering what protective actions and wear you can use to protect yourself? Please, live what life you have left. Enjoy something every day. Hug, kiss and embrace your loved ones every day, even if you hate them today. Eat dessert first, even if you don't like what you see in the mirror. Stop measuring yourself against some idealized image of beauty in a magazine. Do you really think you can protect yourself from an unexpected death? Just stop it.

Why I Don't Wear A Mask Anymore.

I am vaccinated and boosted. I play the odds. The odds are less than 1 Percent that I will get a life threatening virus. This is a cloth mask I had made in the beginning of the Pandemic. These 2 layer cloth masks never fit snugly enough to work properly. They don't really filter out the Covid-19 virus (or any other airborne virus, for that matter). This is not a political statement. It is scientific probability. KN95 masks may offer some protection. But, they are not foolproof, and, as a rational person, I choose the freedom to breathe. I am cautious about group environments, but not paranoid. I go to restaurants, and football games, and live in the free State of Florida. When I see fellow citizens so frightened by the hype that they wear a cloth mask while alone in their cars, I am saddened. We take a risk every time we get in a car. We take a risk every time we shave. We take a risk every waking minute of every waking hour. Be rational. Get vaccinated. Get boosted. But, do not waste one more minute of your precious life worrying about death. Know that it will come. Be ready for it. But, live this minute and this day. I am going to lunch with my love today. What are you doing? What are the politicians in your State doing?

Remember Grief. Without It, There Isn't Joy.

The twin emotions of joy and sadness can't exist in a vacuum. We experience grief, and inevitably joy, in waves of time. Savannah died two years ago, and, occasionally, I still am reminded of her by Facebook and my own dimming memory. This photo shows a normal Saturday morning 8 years ago. Savannah hated all other human beings but the FutureLawyer. She was beautiful and she knew it. We love spouses and pets and friends. They all leave us, or we leave them. Until that time, however, experience the full range of human experience. That, finally, is what makes us human. Memento Mori.

There Is A Method To Social Media Madness.

Sometimes, social media is just social media. It doesn't need some inspiring, educational, or life altering purpose. It is what it is.

#TBT - #WhyIAmASolo - A Strong Society Depends Upon Freedom Of The Individual.

(I am apolitical. This is not a political statement. It is, however, a reaction to a current trend to seek social justice at the expense of individual freedom. This is not a good idea.)

Acting for the social good is fine. However, requiring every person to act according to the will of others is to condemn the society to destruction. The whole point of the American experiment was to allow each individual to seek their own happiness, as long as that journey didn't harm others. Our history certainly shows that some have been harmed. But, that is not a reason to imprison the entire society in a collectivist social welfare system. Fight evil where it exists. But, always allow each citizen to seek happiness on their own terms. As political systems go, we have it pretty good here. Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water.

Facebook, Like Life, Fills Up With Memories.

Facebook keeps reminding me that I get to choose happiness. The death of a spouse, and the happiness of a new love, are certainly proof that every life is a sine wave of emotions. This photo was taken and published seven years ago today. It brings back the joyful memory of Jacquelyn buying out the gift ship at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. It also shows me that I have learned nothing from the poverty that trip caused me, as I have bought out the Internet for Diane, her gracious Majesty, my Queen. But, it is a good thing to experience the highs and lows of this life. It is a good thing to remember that, at our lowest point emotionally, a high point is just around the corner, and within our power to choose. Don't run from memories. They remind us that we have a future.

 

#WhyIAmASolo - I Choose Whether To Be Happy With My Life.

The Stoics tell us that, absent the ability to control others or events, we should concentrate on our ability to control our reactions to life. While I am sure there are a lot of happy BigLaw lawyers, who work and bill 70 to 80 hours a week, and make a lot of money, and have many material things, there are probably many employees of BigLaw who work long hours and are unhappy because they don't have the time to enjoy life. The cool thing is that each of us has the power to choose our own life. I chose, early on in my career, to have balance in my life. I didn't make a lot of money, because I didn't have the economy of scale of a big firm. I refused to work so many hours that I did nothing but work. You get to choose also. You get to say when you go to work, and when you take the day or the afternoon just to sit and look at grass. So, don't be like Rat. Don't go around with a megaphone, complaining about not liking your life. Do something about it.

Go Outside And Look At A Sunrise.

In Delusion, I discuss the narrow focus lives we lead, filled with non-essentials and pretend happiness. I shot this image at sunrise seven years ago today, standing on a path at the South Rim of the Grand Canyon. The real world is so much bigger than we are. Take a moment and marvel at it. That is really living.

Everything I Learned In Life I Learned On The Playground.

As I watch misguided educators suggest that the system go back to remote learning for school aged kids, I think about the famous playground line. I, too, learned from books and teachers, and took that learning to a career as a lawyer. However, the most valuable lessons in life are learned during social interaction with others, and the playground was an early introduction to life's realities. I learned about abuse of authority from my mom and a Nun. I hated spam in grade school. We got it regularly in the lunch room. This was way before burgers and pizza were served to school kids. I refused to eat it, and a Nun threatened me that she would make me eat it off the floor. My mom, an Italian-American dynamo who had served as a Nurse in Korea, came down to the school, and gave that Nun a tongue lashing I would become unfortunately familiar with at home. Also, on the playground, I learned about bullying, and its destructive effects. I was bullied, because I was small and did well in class. The bully was a subconscious source of fear for me for many years. However, I developed skills to avoid bullying later in life, and developed an understanding of the insecurities and upbringing that cause it in the first place. I also learned how to fight fear, have courage, on the playground. Another kid didn't like me, and challenged me to fight. I was filled with fear. But, I knew that, if I didn't challenge that fear, I would be bullied forever. So, we arranged to meet after school. As we faced each other, surrounded by other kids, I resolved not to go down without a fight. I placed a jab in the other kid's chest. I didn't hit very hard; but, he immediately stopped and ran away. I learned that, if you challenge wrongdoing, more often than not, the perpetrator will run away. Not always, of course, but life if full of risks that must be faced. So, all of this said, keeping kids out of school, and human interaction, because of a virus that no one has any real scientific certainty about, may be doing more harm than good. And, the lessons not being learned may be life lessons that are essential to long term health and happiness. So, make your own life choices. Hopefully, you will have a warrior mom. Resolve to have compassion for those who wrong you. You don't know what their life is about. Forgive them. And, finally, be courageous. Facing fear and acting anyway is the definition of courage. Let your kids learn these things on their own. Life will find a way.