Futurelawyer

#PoetryFriday - Searching

SEARCHING

He looked for her at the mall
bustling with the other shoppers
walking from store to store
peering into windows.
He looked for her at the corner drugstore
wandering in the aisles
seeking a remedy for sore throat and back pain.
He drove down the streets
and the alleys
Looking for her in the backyards
of people he didn’t know.
He called authorities
who had none,
and yelled and whistled
until his throat was hoarse
and he needed to go back to the store
for a remedy.
He questioned the neighbors
and enlisted their aid
until a group of them
got tired and went home.
He searched until he couldn’t search anymore.

He went home
and found her
sitting by the front door
patiently waiting for him
with happy eyes
and bouncing body
acting like she never left.

Sometimes the most important things
are sitting on the front steps.

#PoetryFriday - Sin Eater

SIN EATER

He walked alone
for a day
Looking at the past
like a black and white movie
in a small theater
with cold popcorn
and ancient seats
with no padding.

His past life
convicted him
of his sins
Who was he to judge hers?

In his movie
the characters moved silently
unaware
sleepwalking through life
speaking words to cardboard cutouts
without ears to hear
or eyes to see.

He wished he knew a sin eater
capable of devouring their foolish acts
in an orgy of gluttony.

He wanted to test his new found understanding
in the cauldron of passion
next to her naked skin
and to speak truths into her waiting mouth
Holding tight against the tide of man
against woman.

How could he explain to her
that his sins equaled hers
and that his love swallowed the evil impulses
that had threatened to devour them both?

He wanted to sit in an air-conditioned theater
holding her hand
telling the truth
whispering words of passion
into her waiting ears
inviting her to touch him
in places only she knew how to reach.

#PoetryFriday - Chasing A Dream

Why do we chase dreams? Where does our ambition come from? What is the result of our desire for fame, power, money and influence?

SPACEMAN

He pushed the envelope
Put on a white spacesuit
Trained for years
Swam in weightless swimming pools
Took a thousand medical tests
Waited for his day to ride the candle
up to the moon
and back.

He left his family
waiting
at the altar
of professional accomplishment
Wondering whether it was worth it
To see the stars.

The spacecraft
had a million parts
complex computers
lights blinking madly
monster engines
burning fuel and gas
exploding into the darkness
of a launch pad
built with the sweat of a thousand men and women.

When he got to space
He brushed his teeth
looked into the mirror
slept eight hours
read a book
did his work
and looked out the porthole
at the same stars.

#PoetryFriday - Cowboys And Indians

Cowboys and Indians.

He played cowboys and Indians
in the dirt
smiling a peanut butter smile.

He feared nothing.

He was indestructible
He was young
Pain was for other people.
He pushed marbles around on the pavement.

Death and dying
had no meaning for him
as he navigated a world
filled with little green plastic soldiers
marching to a beat
only he knew.

Time passes.

He remembered the little boy
As he lost himself in the knowledge of pain.
He walked in a forest filled with dying leaves
disintegrating on the ground.
Like ancient animals,
they littered a landscape
that grew more desolate over time.

Would the new growth of the forest
find its place in the world?
Would his bones be part of it?

Old men have thoughts
that young boys never do.
Old men try to remember their young souls.
Will they return as old souls?

Old men die.
No one knows if they return.

#PoetryFriday - Photograph

PHOTOGRAPH

He looked closely at the photograph,
Image of his youth,
Filled with promise,
Overflowing with optimism.

Its single dimension
reminded him of another self.
The man in the photograph was
free to hope
free to wonder
free to grasp
looking for the future.

He remembered the photographer.
Prodding
Annoying
Motioning
Jostling with the hangers on
and the wannabes
asking him to share his soul
whether or not he wanted it.

He took a photograph in his mind,
Moved to a new decade.
He wondered whether the wisdom of age
would bring the photograph to life.

Did it look at him
and laugh?

#PoetryFriday - Death Is A Constant Companion

I am at an age when I actually read the obituary page, and look for names of people I know. Every day, the ages seem younger to me. This is a right of passage for those of us who are old. We can either be cheered if our age is older than the souls on the page, or allow ourselves to be saddened by them. But, death comes to us all. It could be this weekend. So, let's do a lot of things this weekend that we wouldn't want our biographer to write about. 

OBITUARY

I wrote your obituary today.
I told the truth
But not the whole truth.
I wrote the truth that we all tell each other
and others
and post on Facebook walls
and in Newspapers
I didn’t write the truth we keep in our hearts.

I didn’t write about the battles we fought together
and alone.
I didn’t write about the secrets we kept from others
and from ourselves.
I didn’t write about the truths we humans
don’t want others to know.

I wrote about your accomplishments
I wrote about the love others had for you
I wrote about the public face
we all show the world.

But, I didn’t write about your incandescent eyes
I didn’t write about your caring soul
I didn’t write about the wry tilt of your head
When I was being ridiculous.

I didn’t write about the words we spoke
in the night.
I didn’t write the truths we admitted to each other
in the early morning light.
I didn’t write about our sins, our faults, or our failings.
I didn’t write about the daily struggles we faced
in a world consumed by desire and evil.

I wanted to write about the heartache of a string of days without you.
I wanted to express the pain of loss
I wanted to tell the world that you were the best person I ever knew.

I only told them what they wanted to hear.

#PoetryFriday - Wedding Day

I know. It isn't Friday. But, seeing wedding photos of a young couple on Facebook triggered a response. Here it is:

WEDDING DAY

As he scanned the crowd of people
Everyone smiling
He knew that they were oblivious to the risks.
He knew that fate would deal blows to them
that knocked them off their feet.
He knew that petty annoyances
would crop up
every day
of their lives.

What would he do
when she got moody
and he didn’t know why?
What would he do
when she left the cap off of the toothpaste
and what would she do
when he left the toilet seat up
in the middle of the night?

Would they hug each other every day
whether they wanted to or not?
Would they spend time together
whether it was convenient or not?
Would they forgive the mundane sins
of close quarter living
or pile up resentments
that grew into a mountain?

He recalled his annoyance
when she brought 4 puppies home
and he grimaced when they became dogs.
He recalled the way she took up most of the bed
with her tiny body
and he felt his arm and leg dangling.
He remembered her insistence on parking
on the left side of the driveway
even though he replaced 7 tires
after scraping them on the curb.

Then, he remembered the day she got sick,
and he couldn’t walk in the park
with her anymore.
He remembered the day she died
and he couldn’t be annoyed at her anymore.

#PoetryFriday - Dead Friends

DEAD FRIENDS

He watched the procession of dark colored cars
slowly moving across the asphalt.
The heat of the sun made vaporous streams of gas
lift from the soft black stone
into the air
like a prayer
to a higher power.

The mourners cried and laughed
fiddled with their ties and their hair,
as they nervously wondered
when their time would come.

Would the Church be filled with their friends?
Would they care
wherever they were?

The priest pretended to know what he was talking about.
Everyone knew that he was as much in the dark
as they were.

Everyone was happy it wasn’t them
in the coffin.
Everyone was sad that their friend was dead.
Everyone tried to remember the last time
they called his number
or visited him.
Everyone was glad they weren’t with him
at the end.

When they put him in the ground
he walked in the sun
to a place in the soft grass
and prayed to whatever was up there
that he would be ready
when his time was up.

Until then
he vowed
to make the world sing
and the flowers grow
and the people laugh
and the music lift
his spirits to heaven.

#PoetryFriday - Soccer Girl

Ariana visited me at the office yesterday. Okay, she was there for a tuition check; but, I refuse to believe that was the only reason. As I talked to this young woman on the first steps of a career and life, I thought about the self sacrificing she did while her mom was sick. Her strength sustained me during the toughest time of my life. Then, I remembered a poem I wrote several years after I accepted the job of raising her. It is still one of the best things I have ever done.

SOCCER GIRL
She limped into the house,
Scabby knee,
Angry frown,
Complaining about her homework.
She was a new daughter,
Fast and furious;
Too young for coffee in the morning;
Rooting for the wrong team.
The bruises on his arm
stood as garish reminders
of the strength of her grip.
She stormed through life
like a tornado
Whirling and spinning
Until her subjects
knelt in obedience
to her will.
He wanted to run away
until she approached
and with a hug
and an "I love you, PaPa"
melted his resolve
and quieted his fears.
I love watching football
with a soccer girl
Who is stronger than I am.

#PoetryFriday - The Gift

THE GIFT

He tried to choose his gifts carefully.
He went to all the right stores.
He saved up his money.
He travelled in person
to expensive retailers
and spent time in meaningless conversation
with counter people
who would rather be somewhere else.

He read the fashion magazines
and scoured the Internet
with a business style focus
and spent more money than he should
trying to impress her.

When the day came
and he presented his gift to her
he was happily pleased
that she was pleased.
He felt the satisfaction
of the giver
and the joy in her happiness
belied the empty feeling in his soul.

As he grew older
he realized that the greatest gift of all
required no effort
and no money
and no skill.

He would give her the gift of his time
and that much limited resource
would be the best gift of all.

Time flashes by in an instant.
He would try to give it away before it was gone.